Happy Halloween!! (You're Under Arrest!!!)

It's halloween night in North bay, and I've been invited to an AWESOME house party by one girl in my section. (EPIC WIN!!) The plan is to meet up with my buddy at his house, and then take a cab to the party with two other guys in my section. I get the information I need to get out to Lakeshore for the very first time. I get off the bus and walking in the general direction of his house, when I realize that I never got his address! (EPIC FAIL) After using the phone at Macs Milk to frantically try and get a hold of him, because I left my cell phone at home (EPIC FAIL), my agenda for that evening drastically changed. Instead of partying with girls wearing revealing costumes in a warm house (I can dream, can't I?) , I was searching up and the street for my buddy's place in the freezing cold. Because it was halloween night, I reasoned that, since people having been knocking on doors all night, it would be perfectly acceptable for myself to knock on complete strangers' doors, to inquire about the whereabouts of my friend. (Wait for it) The first couple of people who answered their doors were polite enough to tell me they never heard of my friend. However this one gentlemen, who smelled like he was bathing in Prairie Fire (see earlier blog), must have imagined I was after his girlfriend or something. (uh I have EYES buddy-pass) He told me, in no uncertain terms, that if I did not get the F of his property, he's was going to call the F'n police! (Really, he'd be better off calling to order another pizza for his girl, except that the society for the prevention of cruelty to pizzas would not allow it!) I happily leave his property to resume my search for my buddy's place, except I noticed that a familiar shadow was rapidly approaching me as I walked down the street. The gentleman ( and I use the term very loosely) again was convinced that I was a trouble maker up to no good (insert evil laugh here), and again told me that he would call the police if I did not leave the neighbourhood! (seriously buddy, go home and try bathing in WATER for a change) I can only be polite for so long, so my response to him was to go home, leave me the F alone, and if he had a problem with me, to grow some balls and call the damn police! (Power to the South!!) I walk away, feeling triumphant in my reply, and again resume my search. As I approach the end of the street, I see the same guy driving towards me, waving in my direction. (wtf?) Then I noticed that two police cruisers have their sirens on, and are heading in my direction! (insert profanity of choice here) I almost decide to approach the policemen and complain about the gentleman who was harassing me, even though he was the one who called the cops in the first place. I then realize that if I was a police officer in a Northern town, who would I side with? A long-time ( and with my luck well-respected member of the community), or a southern boy that represents everything I hate about big cities? ( that hurts) I decide that I would rather not find out, and I tried to disguise myself by taking off my glasses, and putting my hood up to hide my face. (that's gangster :P) I then walked quickly onto the opposite side of the street, and did my best Forest Gump impression by RUNNING MY SOUTHERN ASS DOWN LAKESHORE as fast as I possibly could! I stop to catch my breath at a bus stop, and decide to wait for a bus to get me back home quicker (Burns Street here I come!), except no bus arrives, except a bus on the OTHER side of the street that will take me
back to the same area! Hoping that the cops would not pull over a city bus, I race across the street and boarded the bus that brought me back to the danger zone! (insert suspense music here) While on the bus, I see two cruisers parked side by side, and officers patrolling the neighbourhood for the public enemy known as yours truly (hold your applause please). As my motorized saviour leaves the flashing lights of the cruisers behind, I smile at the fact that I avoided spending the night downtown, and concentrated all my efforts on getting home as quick as possible. After I was in the sanctuary of my room
( Final Score- cops-0, Southern Boy-1, Prairie Fire Psycho- negative 20) I felt anger over the missed fun with my section mates tonight (insert sad music here), and decided to watch episodes of Married With Children in order to (laugh) myself to sleep. ( Dear Al, thank you for making my halloween in North Bay less pitiful by just being yourself. Sincerely, Southern Boy)