"The South-west shall Rise Again!! (target-The Zoo!)

A short while after the birthday blowout, (or should I say spew-out) I ended up getting talked into going out with my section mates for Saturday night at Cecil's (stop # 5,6,or 7 on the "route" depending on who you talk to) I was told that we would meet at Cecil's around 10 p.m. , and take it from there. My landlord drops me off at 10:15 p.m. at Cecil's (what a nice guy) and I stand around waiting, and waiting,and waiting and waiting (and) waiting for SOMEONE I know to show up! Apparently they were too busy pre-drinking to remember to SHOW UP to Cecil's! I waited a good hour-and -a half outside with no iPod (because I'm poor) and no jacket (because I'm an idiot that didn't want to look like a damn southern boy wearing a winter jacket in early October, even though it's -10 degrees outside) I finally realized that my mates ditched me, and after shaking my fist at them with rage, (Simpsons reference #1) I go in between Cecil's and the Zoo to warm up, grab a drink ( rum and coke ftw) , and assess the situation. During my pre assessment (fancy teacher word) I realize three things:
1. I'm downtown in North Bay by myself without knowing any soul around
2. Girls are easier to pick up when they are intoxicated (write that fact down fellas)
3. I'm 50 feet away from the infamous Zoo club, playing music I actually like
While talking to people in other sections on campus, I discovered that the Zoo is the most "dangerous" place in North Bay. Fights, needles and stabbings are what happens when people go to the Zoo on a Saturday Night. At this thought, I become petrified with fear, and wonder if I can catch the second period of the double-header on Hockey Night in Canada if I leave right now. ( hockey reference #1) Then I realize that while my home city also features awesome clubs like Dean Martini's, The Boom Boom Room and 29 Park, it borders with Americans that like to cross the river to get drunk in Canada on a Saturday night, bringing their guns with them. I then stand up and exclaim ( to no one in particular)- " The Zoo? Man I'm from Southern-Ontario, I ain't scared of the Zoo!!" With a bravado unseen since Vimy Ridge (Historical reference #1) I stroll into the club, and immediately scope out my targets on the dance floor. After some successful (and unsuccessful) attempts, I dance behind this one girl, who then vice grips her hands around my hands, as if to say "uh-uh cutie, you're not going anywhere!" ( arrogant reference #1) I end up behind her a good portion of the night (and trust me fellas, she was worth it ;) when her friends want me to kiss her. Since it's apparently not polite to say no to total strangers (and because I'm an opportunist at heart) I make my move on her, and we end up making out not once, twice but three times on the dance floor! (if I'm lying, I'm dying-remember that) Second last song of the night is announced, and while I'm checking my wallet to make sure I have enough jimmy caps for this chick, (safety first!) She transforms into Usain Bolt, and her and her friends race out of the Zoo and into a cab waiting outside, and drive off while I'm chasing after her ( EPIC FAIL) I never saw her again, never got her name, and took a cab back to my place and crawled into bed.
I may have lost the battle, but not the war. Remember boys and girls, THE SOUTH-WEST SHALL RISE AGAIN!!!